While I was in there I realized that I should buy some minty gum because I was down to two pieces and would hate to be stuck in a situation where I couldn't answer someone based on their proximity to me and possible rankness of my breath.
I grabbed a box of Eclipse and thought nothing of it until the next day.
Now I should say that usually I can be kind of miserly with my gum; I don't offer up a piece unless asked because then the gum-moochers all come out of hiding. They hear there is gum and suddenly I am surrounded with open palms "Oh, can I have a piece too?" Not wanting to come off as impolite, I begrudgingly share my gum and soon my pack of ten pieces has depleted. I am left with nothing but feelings of loss and regret. Because of this all-too-frequent scenario, I tend to be discreet with my gum consumption.
The day after my BJ's trip, however, I went into my bag to grab my gum after lunch and realized just how much was there. That little wholesale box was a treasure chest of gum, carrying 20 packs of Eclipse! I walked around my office passing gum out like I was some sort of king -- the King of Gum -- sharing my wealth with those less fortunate. My sudden generosity convinced me that I would make a great real king because I was so great at sharing without feeling bitter afterwards. How could I when I had so much to spare?
It's unfortunate that I wasn't born into royalty; the world could really use a philanthropist like me. If Prince Harry comes knocking at my door then I will at least entertain the thought of marrying him, purely for the sake of touching the lives of others through my countless hours of humanitarian work as a Duchess (definitely not for the sake of touching him and making gorgeous, royal ginger-babies together). Until that day comes, however, I will just have to stick to shopping at BJs.
The End
"How is she not king of other stuff, too?" Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
ReplyDelete